Say my name, Bastain!

“Say my name, Bastian! Please… save us!”

— The NeverEnding Story

At the climax of The NeverEnding Story, the world is being consumed by The Nothing—a force of erasure, forgetting, and disconnection. The only thing that can stop it is a single act: Bastian calling the Empress by name.

It’s a children’s film. But it’s also a metaphor for something profound.

Names have power. And in business, in leadership, in human connection—we rarely use that power.

Most People Quietly Agree to Be Bad at This

We shrug it off: “I’m just bad with names.”

But why would we agree to be bad at one of the simplest, most powerful ways to create trust, connection, and memorability?

Using someone’s name does something rare in today’s distracted world. It makes them feel seen. It brings their attention to the moment. It opens a window for what you’re saying to actually land.

The Brain Locks In When It’s Personal

Here’s what science shows: when someone hears their own name, their brain lights up. It triggers areas linked to attention, memory, and self-awareness—basically, it tells the brain, “This is important.”

So when you use a person’s name well in a conversation, they’re more likely to feel present, valued—and to remember you.

As Dale Carnegie famously wrote, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language.”

Neuroscience now confirms it.

It’s Not About Being Impressive

In consulting, fractional leadership, and relationship-driven work, the ones who earn trust and get hired aren’t always the ones with the flashiest resume or biggest credentials.

More often, it’s the person who helps others feel understood. The one who reflects back something important they hadn’t seen clearly before. The one who treats each person with attentiveness and presence.

How to Use Names With Intention

This is not about tactics. This is about how you show up.

• Use their name when you greet them. “Hi Lila—great to see you.” This says: you matter here.

• Use their name before something meaningful. “Cory, this part might really speak to you.” That simple move helps the message land.

• Anchor it with memory. “Adam, last time you mentioned your team was stuck. How’s that going?”

It’s not about saying a name constantly. It’s about knowing when it makes a difference.

This Is Leadership

Especially for independent leaders—consultants, facilitators, advisors—your authority doesn’t come from title or org chart. It comes from presence.

When you consistently make others feel seen and valued, they’re far more likely to follow your lead.

That’s not networking fluff. That’s leadership in practice.

And the best part?

It’s easy to learn.

It’s simple to use.

And the leverage it gives you is enormous.